Sentence structure and grammar, we will glance at those together given that they really have to do with all the mechanics associated with the essay.
The really solid thing that this essay does is offer a lot of sentence variety. That i said you could use to kind of chart your sentence variety, what I’ve done in the bonus materials for this essay is chart the sentence variety of one of the body paragraphs if you remember back to the bonus materials, there’s a sentence variety chart that I gave you. And you will see by looking at the various types therefore the different lengths of sentences that this really has a great flow, there’s lots of variety there. Additionally this essay uses an advance vocabulary but it is not just advanced, it is used appropriately. So here the example is, ‘Free tutoring does not aim in the middle regarding the problems facing schools; a wider selection of classes does by livening fascination with school up until graduation.’ Therefore we’ve just seen an advance sentence structure and an advance usage of vocabulary very strong language that is commendable. These are all the reason why why this essay earned an 11 which will be in which you want to ideally be scoring ten to 12 regarding the ACT writing.
Now why don’t we have a look at sample essay number two.
Go ahead and go right to the bonus materials and print it out. Again i will start with reading the first paragraph but it surely are going to be important you to follow along for you to have a hard copy on front of. Alright, this one starts with ‘a problem that is major many high schools face is students failing continually to graduate, or dropping out before they will have the chance. High schools across the nation have attempted countless programs that are different processes to attempt to combat student’s failure, some proving more lucrative than the others. I think, offering a wider selection of class options would do a more satisfactory job of promoting success than merely offering free tutoring because ‘interest’ promotes a desire to understand and remain in school, a thing that not simply getting help can do.’ which means this one starts out very similar to essay number one however, if you noticed this 1 only scored a seven. So it is still into the top half but a far cry through the 11 that the first essay scored. Here we’ve got again a very position that is strong understanding of the duty. This writer says ‘offering a wider variety of class options would do a more satisfactory job of promoting student success and merely offering tutoring that is free the attention promotes the want to learn and stay at school.’ So we’ve got a situation, we’ve got reason, in addition we’ve got the development of a counter argument. You could already infer even when you haven’t read the essay using this that this writer must not do a great job of incorporating and powering up on that counter argument otherwise they would have scored a lot higher from the essay. So solid ‘task and position’ let us see where it falls a bit that is little.
‘Complexity and development’ alright this writer says, ‘My high school really helps many students by offering peer tutors because learning from peers is more appealing than being re-taught by adults. ‘tutoring helps many who could be too frustrated I notice when I read this is the wording is a little bit confusing here and I’m not really sure what this is supposing because, honestly it’s making tutoring sound like a really good thing that they cannot understand their classes and want to drop out.’ Now the first thing. The position statement told me that this essay was going to be arguing for a wider number of classes. So this might be an attempted counter argument, but where it falls short is it does not completely dismiss the counter claim, the reader is left by it wondering but what is this person proving. To make certain that’s the first place that falls short in complexity and development. The essay also says, ‘Offering many courses helps to ensure that students will still yet learn have some fun and start to become less stressed.’ Now this is certainly into the second body paragraph and this may be the first time that the writer has introduced this concept of ‘having fun and becoming less stressed’ and it’s really unclear where that links in to the position that ‘a wider variance of classes is way better for learning.’ It focused and supportive.
Finally in organization this essay is organized simply but effectively it really is types of predictable but that is why it scores a seven and never very up on top of the scale that will be in the 11. This essay says ‘In addition to more classes, having parents and teachers who care about students’ success, offering extra-curricular programs to boost an active experience of the school, having assemblies and events to market school spirit and several other factors are typical essential in promoting success.’ Now these are really great ideas and definitely on topic, pay someone to write my paper but one might be prepared to see these ideas introduced in the introduction after which followed through to within the essay. However once you know where this paragraph arises from is the conclusion and that’s one of several big no, no’s for that organization that is basic. You do not introduce ideas that are new the conclusion because all it can is serve to confuse the reader. They aren’t something that you have mentioned and none of one’s support relates to it. Which means this is excatly why this essay’s score is a little bit lower in organization.
‘Sentence structure and grammar.’ Alright this essay says, ‘Something that not help that is merely getting do.’ This is certainly among the lines that really stuck out to me in reality it’s the main position statement that is one of those sentences that readers are actually focused in on, if you’re given your thesis or your role, they want that it is clear. And this wording is really type of confusing, I’m not sure what things are referring to, what the something is and it’s just a bit that is little. So again we’ve got sorts of this awkward usage of language which keeps this essay down for the reason that mid range rather than shooting it as much as the higher range that displays a command for the language.
Alright the couple of pitfalls that this essay run into you want to make sure you avoid that we already have talked about and. This essay makes ‘hasty generalizations’ the line, ‘only students with a desire to enhance may benefit from such a program.’ That’s a big jump. So that’s saying basically if I give tutoring to everybody if they do not whole heartedly desire to be there they are going to flat out fail. And I also genuinely believe that’s a leap that is really big flaw and logic. It also gets a little bit wordy, ‘The most important, though, is a student’s aspire to learn and also to succeed;’ it simply continues on and on about this. Last but not least we talked about any of it ‘basic organization’ not only do we now have variety of candid transitions like ‘in addition’ to and ‘furthermore’ but we talked about the introduction of new ideas when you look at the conclusion which really throws the reader for a whip. So coming back to wrap it all within the seven indicators that your readers will probably be in search of will be your ‘understanding of the duty,’ the ‘position’ you are taking, the ‘complexity’ with which you discuss the presssing issue, the ‘development’ or support you provide, the way you organized your ideas after which the way you deliver it with your ‘sentence and word choice’ and your ‘grammar.’
In this episode we have taken a look at two essays, both were solid they scored when you look at the half that is top clearly we see why essay one scored an 11 while essay two scored a seven.